Are you Settling in Life and Business?
Updated: Sep 26
Are you Settling? Find out as we dive deep into this topic and ask you the hard questions.
Sure, your life is pretty good, but could it be better? What's stopping you from squeezing every drop of opportunity and potential out of it?
After reading this blog post, you'll be ready to take ACTION to step up and go from good to great! In order to move forward, get out of our ruts and achieve the life we truly desire, we need to find out if we're settling.
Lisa Lyttle, Certified International Business Coach, Serial Entrepreneur and soon-to-be Author will help you face your fears, overcome adversity and create a life you LOVE that you don't need a vacation from.
Does it ever feel like something's just not right?
You work hard all day, writing emails, attending meetings, answering the phone, and servicing clients. You're working 10-12 hours a day. Your life is good, you're doing really well financially, you might even be a proud member of the 6-figure club. You have a nice car, a nice home, you feel like you have everything set up that SHOULD make you feel happy and satisfied, but you're not. Maybe you don't feel as successful as you should be. You feel like there's something's missing and you want more. You FEEL like you should be enjoying more, doing more, having more but you're not sure how to get it.
Do you feel like you don't have the quality time you'd like to spend with the people you care about most? Or whenever you are with them, you have a hard time shutting your brain off because you have a million and one things you have to do, it stresses you out and you can't relax. Maybe you know inside yourself that there's a mountain of untapped potential and you're pretty sure you can figure out a way to capture it but it just hasn't happened yet.
You're losing time. You're worried that your moving past the prime of your life, you need to do something right now before life passes you by and the life you truly want and desire....you're worried that you're going to be too old to really enjoy it or it just wont come at all.
The problem is when you're successful, when things are going really well, it's easy for us to justify when life is good even though you feel life could be great.
Society and other people's definition of success many times will determine our level of success. So for example, if you have a nice car, a nice house, a good paying job, you go on nice vacations every year...you're not struggling. In many other people's eyes like your friends, family, co-workers, neighbours etc they look at your life and they think, "wow, you have it all figured out! Good for you!" So you admit to yourself that life is really good.
We are constantly hearing things like "You should be lucky to have a job in this economy!"
"You look great, stopping stressing about your body!"
"You're too picky, you should just settle for a nice partner or you'll end up alone!"
How many times have you heard things like this?
If you don't feel like life is absolutely fantastic then something is lacking. True happiness is only fulfilled when we achieve the things we truly desire in our heart and in our soul.
Can you relate to any of these situations?
1.) You're comfortable, so you stay in a situation because it's too hard to change it.
If you had a 100% guarantee that things would be alright and all the fear and doubt was completely removed from the equation, would you:
- leave your job?
- end your relationship?
- start the business?
- move to a different country?
- do that big thing you've always wanted to do?
If you said yes, then you're settling.
2.) You're a thinker, not a doer.
You're constantly coming up with new ideas but you never take any action. You spend most of your time thinking and brainstorming that you feel so completely overwhelmed and stressed that it actually paralyzes you and you do nothing. This is a form of settling.
3.) You're waiting for the "Perfect Time."
Do you say things like:
- "I'm waiting until I have more money saved."
- "I'm waiting for the kids to get older."
- "When I get a pay raise or promotion, I'll do it then!"
Whatever your reasons are for waiting, doesn't really matter. There will never be a "perfect time" to start executing on a plan. The only reason why you are delaying going after your dream is because you're afraid you will fail. If you don't start you can't fail right? Yes, this is true, but it's also true that you'll never be fully satisfied in your life because you're not going after what you desire and you're settling for less.
4.) You're self confidence is low.
Are you worried what your family, friends, colleagues, boss, partner or whomever will think and worried what they'll say if you were to take on a big risk? This is your life, these are your goals, your dreams, so why should it matter what they say or think? Having this mentality forces you to settle instead of going after what you truly want.
5.) You tell yourself that things aren't bad.
You're so incredibly grateful for all the wonderful things you already have that you've convinced yourself that it would be stupid, selfish, greedy or foolish to make a big change. Your life is already so good. You use gratitude as an excuse to not move forward, and again this is a form of settling.
6.) You play the blame game.
Maybe you blame your boss, spouse, co-workers or kids, maybe its the long commute to and from work...whatever it is, you have no problems venting your frustrations out to anyone that will listen. If your life wasn't so complicated your life would be a lot better, right? Wrong. Your settling.
The reasons why we settle is because we are afraid. We're afraid of the unknown and we're afraid of being left with nothing.
Do you say to yourself:
"I can't quit my job...what if I'm left with nothing."
"I can't end my relationship or my friendship with this person...I will be all alone!"
"I can't take that financial risk...what if I lose all my money!"
So we do nothing. We settle for our mediocre life and put our true dreams and desires on the back burner.
Many of us will use pain as a motivator. We wait until we hit a breaking point and only then do we make drastic changes and we're willing to take on some risk. We take action because we're sick and tired of our current situation. When the relationship gets bad enough...the empty house will feel like a haven. When you get so fed up working at the job you hate that you quit...the reduced living budget doesn't seem so bad and you feel like you can finally do what you've always wanted to do.
The most successful and happiest people are willing to step into the unknown. They don't wait for things to get so intolerable before they do. Of course, they are afraid, but they know that settling is a self-imposed punishment and they are more afraid of that.
Here's 4 easy steps that will help stop you from settling so you so you'll FINALLY take ACTION
These steps will get you out of your rut, will catapult you to finally taking action so you can actually get what you want.
Step #1 - Share your story
Share your goals, dreams, aspirations and visions with those around you that you trust. By talking about your goals, it makes it real, it will get you excited! The people around you will motivate you and help push you to go after it. You'll want to start working towards your dreams again and it will give you renewed energy.
Step #2 - Get clear and focused on what you truly want.
Many times we settle because we don't really know what we want, we don't know how to start or what to do. People who get what they want, KNOW what they want. Take some time and really think about what it is you truly want and how you want to FEEL when you get it. Write it down. From there you are going to work backwards...ask yourself: what can I do to create this feeling in this area of my life? Then come up with small, attainable action steps that will lead you to your goal.
Step #3 - Practice Self Care
So many of us are so busy taking care of other people that we neglect ourselves. By taking time and focusing on yourself daily, you're teaching yourself that you are important. You are worthy and deserving of your own time and attention. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, you're exercising everyday, you're getting outside and getting fresh air, you're eating healthy and you're drinking lots of water to ensure you have daily energy and mental stamina.
Step #4 - Take action
"Actions speak louder than words"
Start implementing small steps that will move you closer to your target. Setting small, attainable goals will make you see your progress and will motivate you to keep moving forward. So start checking off those action steps!
Try these out for yourself, but if you get to a point where you need more motivation, inspiration, accountability, guidance, or you just need help on which way to go, then hire a coach. Whether it's me or someone else, hire someone that can help you reach your goals quickly. I have some powerful tools and exercises that can help you get very clear on what your ideal life looks like and I'll make sure you get there!
* Imagine waking up so excited to start the day, you wake up extra early because you want to!
* Imagine taking time off with your family anytime you want because you live your life on your terms.
* Imagine looking at your bank account and knowing you have the funds, the time and the freedom to do whatever you want and go wherever you want!
* Imagine the satisfaction, knowing you are in the prime of your life and you're living at your highest potential!
The difference between those who have and those who have not reached their goals is consistent and persistent action. Many people have great ideas but if you want to be successful and find true joy and happiness, you must act upon them and I can help you do that.
"Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great!" ~John D. Rockefeller
To listen to the podcast of this post CLICK HERE.
Certified International Business Coach
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