Afraid of Being Cheated On?
This is for my ladies! Okay, I realize this has nothing to do with business...but I just wanted to put this out there real quick, because for some reason, so many of you are confiding in me about your relationships...especially in our 1 to 1 calls. I guess that's a good thing, since you obviously feel really comfortable with me.❤️
So I'm just gonna put it out there...
Are you afraid of being cheated on?
If so, you’re going to love this post. There’s 2 scenarios right now, either you’re single and you’re afraid that your next future relationship will cheat on you because it’s happened to you before, or you’re currently in a relationship and you’re constantly worried that he’s going to cheat on you. So let’s talk about that.
So firstly, the fear of being cheated on, I can totally relate with and that’s why I’m doing this post. I understand what’s at stake when there’s a constant fear of being cheated on in the background.
We have trust issues and we have a hard time letting it go.
But one of the most powerful things we can realize is if you were cheated on in the past, it’s important to acknowledge that it happened. Yes, sadly it happened, but it’s in the past. It’s not happening right now. The only thing that’s happening right now is in our mind. When you start fearing it now, you’re taking all those hurt emotional feelings from the past and bringing it into the present moment and you’re actually cheating yourself from fully experiencing a genuine connection with someone.
Not all men are the same. Not all men cheat. It’s the feelings and energy that we felt in the past during that time, that makes us fear right now, today.
One thing that I learned, which I found super helpful and you will too, is that our mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. There’s scientific evidence on this and it’s called the “Cognitive Triangle”. What it means is the way we think, is how we feel, and the way we feel is how we act.
So for example, if a bear were to chase you, you’re gonna respond…how? You’re gonna think, omg, I’m gonna die, you’re gonna feel super afraid and your body's going to respond. How? By running of course!
Now, if you were to IMAGINE a bear chasing you, you’re also going to emotionally respond to it. You’re going to feel super afraid and you’re gonna think it might kill you. Your body may even respond by getting anxious, you might sweat, your heart rate might even increase.
This is how powerful our imagination is. Our brains cannot decipher what is real and what is fake. So if you have this constant fear of being cheated on, it doesn’t have to be this way. You have the ability to change it. You have the ability to rewire your brain.
So here’s how to do it:
Instead of focusing on what you don’t want (which is being cheated on) you need to focus on what you DO want
👉🏼 I want to feel connected.
👉🏼 I want to feel safe.
👉🏼 I want to feel protected.
👉🏼 I want to feel loved.
👉🏼 I want to feel adorned.
Think of all the things that you DO WANT and let your imagination run wild with it.
What does it look like to feel protected?
What does it feel like to be honoured by a man or be honoured by myself?
What does it look like to feel loved and connected?
Paint yourself a very clear picture…what does it all look like.
So instead of focusing on the negative, you know...the constant fear of something happening, you’re switching the energy to the positive and focusing on imagining all the things you do want. (This also works in business too!)
And when you start to do that, you’ll start to see the evidence of what it is that you truly want. Because again, the way you think, determines how you feel, and the way you feel, determines how you will act. And I’ve been there myself, so I completely understand and can relate to how you’re feeling right now and how difficult it can be to shatter these fears.
But what I’ve found to be the most effective is to really trust and know that in order for me to have a trusted, safe, extraordinary relationship, I need to be extremely rigorous and responsible for my thoughts.
So now that you are aware how our mind actually works, you can start focusing on the positives and things you do want and over time your brain will shatter those fears of being cheated on.
So i hope this post makes a difference for you, especially if you have a fear of being cheated on. It’s important that you align your energy to things you truly want so you can have that dream relationship.
So it’s time to let go of that fear. If you were cheated on in the past, accept it. It happened, it’s not happening right now. Focus instead on what you do want and trust that you can experience an incredible, honest and trust-worthy relationship.
Hope you have an awesome day!🌺
Certified International Business & Mindset Coach
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